I count myself lucky to be able to work at home, which enables me to be around my husband and son during the day. I am equally lucky that Michael works nights, and is the willing and able primary caregiver during the day while I slave in front of my little glowing screen. I’ll admit, it’s not the ideal situation from a relationship (and admittedly, sex) perspective, but it is fantastic for us in raising our kids, keeping one or both of us actively engaged at all times, saving on daycare costs, but still flexible enough to accommodate the schedules of a two-income family. It works for us, and we feel extremely fortunate.

As I mentioned, while my leave will necessitate a bit of belt-tightening, it will work for us. For others in less fortunate financial and work situations, I cannot imagine how families manage. I was speaking with a woman working at our local convenience store, who is due at the same time as me. She makes about $10/hour and, because her employment date is weeks shy of the time required for any kind of leave coverage, she has no paid maternity leave. She has another child at home and a partner whose salary barely covers the bills, even with her job. At the same time, they make too much money to quality for any kind of assistance. She recently found out she might need to go on bed rest. She has no idea how they are going to make ends meet.

This is too common a situation. Too much for assistance, too poor to make it independently, and with questionable health insurance…what are these families to do?

If you read the Feministe article, maternity leave was just a small part of a larger issue. The main point was more about the pressure mothers get for their choices to work and be considered less dedicated parents, or to stay home and not be considered to be contributing professionally to society. That’s a whole separate topic, and the flashpoint of countless “mommy wars.” I will say one thing as it relates to maternity leave - if there is overwhelming concern in our culture to support a woman being the “primary caregiver” for children, even just in the first six months to a year of a child’s life, then our culture needs to step up and underscore that pressure with some real support to women to make that happen. But, and here’s my own sarcastic reply to myself, that’s too logical. It’s much easier to waggle disapproving fingers, judging mothers for the choices they make for their families, for whatever works the best for them. Does this same culture judge fathers by those same merits? No it does not. Man = breadwinner, right?

If we are to step up to the plate and provide support to MOTHERS to ensure their ability to receive paid leave, we cannot do so without fully addressing the same right as fathers who, maybe in lesser numbers but still as critical, can, do and sometimes MUST choose to be the primary caregivers for their children after birth or adoption. Why would we offer dads any less?